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Europe in a Box

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Page # 1: England/Spain - Page # 2: France/Italy/Hamberg - Page # 3: Netherlands/Belgium/Berlin

Page #1

The Dilly-O

>From August 11th until September 1st, Jay is smuggling secret videos to your eyes and ears live from the exotic land of Europe.  You may have seen Europe on TV before or even talked about it for a day in history class.  It's sort of like America in the sense that the average person there lives the life of a 16th century king.  They have more jesters on TV than any king had, and every meal they eat is a cornucomglomerate mishmash of trinquets from 20 different countries, often served by a "waiter."  If there are no waiters around, people will take the food from the magic cold box to the magic hot box, let it spin around for a minute by pushing a button, then shovel it into their pie holes while watching their jesters on the magic "Sky TV" box.  There are lots of boxes.

Alive Reports

As I travel in my magic train box from place to place, I'll send you alive reports just like on "Sky TV."  They will appear below in the form of rectangular pictures, and if you are lucky some audio and a video box. 
 
It all started in Cambridge.  Since my college was a bit junky, I wandered into some random college and took some self portraits faster than the porters could say "Yoa lek lok on Omarocan toorest.  Tha coalege is cleoused."

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In preparation for chillin with Chivon later that night, I decided I should throw up some gang signs in front of Kingīs College so that I didnīt slip up in an important situation. Some guy called me a wanker, but can you blame him?

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I met Chivon and her homies at Tery Aki for some soy beans and soy bean derivatives.  The guy at the table next to us was making an oragami dodecahedron (aka bigass spiky ball out of paper).  I didnīt know whether to approach him as an artist or a mideivel warrior, so I combined the two. 

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Seeing as how I had worked so hard last night on packing, Natalie offered to give me a ride to the airport the next morning.  I actually did stay up all night packing, but I still couldnīt avoid the not ready on time fairy, and when Nat-dawg got there, she just helped me pack.  For this, amongst other things, she wails on like umpteen guitars and an accordian.

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Gaudy.  What can I say to you master of architecture? This chapel looks like a drip castle.  I think Gaudy was sitting on the beach dripping mud through his fingers when he was 2 and thought, Iīd like to worship Jesus from within this pile of mud.

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I guess some of the intricate carvings in the side of the drip castle would have taken some fancy pails and shovels to make, not just mud drippings.

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From one of the highest parts of Gaudyīs park, Barcelona was reduced to a sea of tranquility.  But because of the trees on the left and right I couldnīt help but feel like I was a peeping Tom peering through the bushes onto tranquil beauty.  Oh Barcelona, if you had skin it would be a mile deep.

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Back on Las Ramblas, the main drag through Barcelona, the alien street performer tried to bend my mind like morning wood while lying on oneīs stomach.  My mind would not bend, and I did not contribute any Euros to his fund, but I did like the performance which included robotic sound effects when the aliemonstrasaur moved its joints.  I prefer to give money to performances I hate.  I just like it that way.

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A big day of Picasso and Gaudy had drained my stomach like a quick tug on a tampon string.  Luckily I stumbled upon a Vegan paradice where I was served tofu, guacamole, fresh squeezed zumo de manzana, and some other hippy shit.

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The interior decoration made me want to shoot rainbow lazers (spell it like it sounds or answer to me) out my nose. Preferably the lazers will hit a careful assembly of mirrors bouncing helter skelter pogo, and there will be a few smoke machines if possible.  I am seriously considering doing my room this way if my dad lets me

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Meaningless comments: I met a kid from Milan who is having an 18th birthday party with his parents out of town.  He offered to house my junk on that night.  You are all invited to come along probably.  Did you notice the intricate shirts/shorts color switch I pulled half way through? You canīt see my shorts in the second half, but if you could they would be orange.  If I redo the page with a "director voice over" that is the kind of thing I would mention. 

The end of action alive report from Barcelona. I am relly really sorry that thatīs all I have for now. I am in Marseille right now. I did an alive report from Julien Court. You can look forward to that next time.  My dawg ate my camera.  I will see you on the flip side of hell.


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