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This party got me banned from throwing another party until I left school

Party #4 Staircase 61 - Cambridge, England - Early May, 2003



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Party Flier

The party was supposed to be "The Dope House Party" with mustache attire. This totally threw off the Cambridge authorities, who mistook the word dope for a noun instead of an adjective. Masters of the English language my ass. Anyway, the flier came complete with cutout paper mustache to aid in costume conformity. Also notice the wild non-rectangular shape! Obviously things would soon be out of hand.

The Dean's Email

Just to give you an idea of how hard it is for Cambridge to digest an American house party, here is the first email from the dean which led to huge back and forth debates and a fine of 50 pounds along with an essential permanent ban on us throwing parties.

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The Brits Love House Parties

It wasn't hard to sell our light skinned bruthuhs that it's a good idea to put too many people, a DJ, and drugs into a medium sized area, catalyze, and let the experiment run to completion.

Yen

Yen doesn't really fit into the story line here, but isn't she pretty?

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People Started Coming

Spontaneous generation of people seemed to be the norm. We already thought we were cool, but we didn't expect what we got.

Multiplication Through Copulation

As the crowd grew it almost seemed that new generations of people were being formed with frantic fornication frenzies.

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The Porch Was Connected to the Kitchen

Through the door on the left, the porch seemed to form a virtual VIP balcony of witty conversation.

Who Else but Sharon?

Well... whadya know? Where there's a battle of wits at stake, we find... Sharon Malinowski (bottom)? All the way from Florida, Sharon worked the porch like a cocktail waitress selling conversation. Judge the awestricken reactions of Jay, Kristin, and Nico (left to right).

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Veritable Space Heaters for Conversation

Philosophy isn't possible without Matt. Wherever some shit goes down, Matt wedges himself in the middle like a buttplug, in a positive sense. Matt and Sharon are space heaters for conversation. Kristin too for that matter. Also, Kristin, you give Christina Ricci a run for her money now and then, like now for example.

There's One at Every Prestigious University Party

Not invited? Not wanted? Doesn't like Adam Sandler? None of that will stop the occasional blue blooded Cambridge predator from throwing his brainweight off the top ropes in an attempted seduction like Macho Man in summer slam 7 (Remember that? Paired with Hulk Hogan!)

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Inside the D.J.s F'd Up the D.F.

The disc jockeys were bouncing the dance floor with some kind of reggae-hop that was real danceable out of 200 watt speakers. Apparently this is against the rules.

Does D.J. stand for Blunt Smokers?

Smoking inside and setting off the smoke alarm tied directly to a vibrator on the porter's nutsack is a direct request for a broken up party, which would come in due time anyways. This guy lit up blunts on 2 separate occasions, and that's just when I was looking. Oh and death to all those who touch the D.J.'s table too as I was informed several times.

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Moving back in off the porch

This guy here on the right, truly fascinating individual. I saw him at the comedy theater a fortnight before the party, and he was impersonating Golem impersonating Tony Blaire. Anyway, Guilan here on the left smells the craziness of the party back inside, and I'll be damned if she didn't start smoking some crazy juice right about now. Wait and see.

Guilan, Guilan, Guilan.  Oh boy.


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Yeah so the dancing was crazy that night.  Watch out.

Aside from the crazy dancing, I got just a little bit crazy too.


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I was reported to have threatened lives and assaulted authorities.

I got a note on my door the next morning from my "tutor" saying that I may be in need of his help.


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The tutor only gets involved when you're really in trouble.

This guy and girl dancing here are Zeynep and Daniel.  They rule.

The Dean contacted us several times and had several meetings.


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He finally decided to fine the 3 organizers of the party 50 pounds (about $80) each, and permanently banned us from throwing parties.

Kevin throwing up the peace was one of the 3.  I used to break with Nico (right) all over town.

When the Porter came to shut down the party, he had to come 3 times, and everyone was loud and rude.  ):


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There was trash and broken glass spilling out from the house everywhere.

I went to bed that night knowing the world was a better place than yesterday.


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